“Cheer up!” No.
“Don’t be such a downer.” Bite me.
“You’re bringing me down.” F*ck you!
“You can’t just get like this every time any little thing happens.” Go to hell.
Seriously.
What? I can’t express the fact that I’m not exactly a ray of sunshine every single day?
I don’t need a seal of approval of WHEN I get to be sad or when I don’t!
As Paulo Coehlo writes in The Alchemist (one of my favorite books):
“When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming a part of that person’s life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn’t what other’s want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how others should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
Preach brother.
Why is it that other people think THEY get to tell you when it’s okay to be sad or not?
People always think they know what’s best for you and it urks me.
For instance, lets say a close family member of yours passes away. Right after it happens, people will tell you that you NEED to grieve, to “let it out” as they say.
Years later, you’re looking through old pictures of your loved one that passed away and break down into tears then they tell you: “You can’t just break down every time you start looking through old pictures of [said person].
Or let’s say you had a bad day…
Tell me where is the scale that measures every single bad day in history and tells you whether your bad day was “bad enough” to be considered something that you can actually get upset about.
Cause someone always has it worse right? Cause you’re not going to be able to function like an adult if “you keep reacting like this.” right?
NO! You are just fine!
You will be able to function just fine!
You will overcome at your own f*cking pace!
You are NORMAL!
Your bad day is sufficient for you to be upset about it if you feel upset!
And if you want to be sad for a day, be sad for a week, be sad for a month then you don’t have to make any excuses to anyone cause it’s YOUR body. And that is how your body reacts under certain circumstances.
You’re allowed to be f*cking sad. It’s a normal human emotion. It’s not going to be forever. You know that.
The same way that every body develops differently. Every plant has it’s own unique growth cycle. Your mind processes things at a different rate.
There’s this phrase that get’s thrown around that says “the only way out is through.”
Take it how you want to.
But I think the saddest people are the ones that try to avoid being sad. I’ve been there.
Denial is so real. And it is very unhealthy.
You walk around knowing something is bothering you. You try to brush it off. It’s going to come back and get you.
Let’s look at it this way…
You live in this room. Your space where you can breathe. A feather lands on your shoulder. No biggie you flick it off. It falls on the floor of your room. Next day the amount of feathers triples. You flick them off again. This keeps happening every single day and the feathers continue to triple and begin to pile up. Before you know it, something so minimal has taken over your entire room and you can no longer breathe. You’re coughing up feathers left and right! You got feather coming out your ears! You got feathers coming out your… Well you get the point.
I know we feel like people don’t understand us sometimes.
But they don’t have to.
Either way. they will have to accept that you’re not exactly happy right now and you have every right to feel, or portray whatever way you’re feeling.
This is MY recovery.
Don’t tell me I can’t be sad.
Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Motherless Child
Side story: When I was a little girl, I told my best friend at the time that I felt like I was always crying so frequently. That I was sorry for crying so much.
She told me: “I’ve barely ever seen you cry. You really don’t cry that much.”
It’s interesting to see how differently other people see you than you see yourself.
A Cup of Tea with a Motherless Child 