From My Fears… To eyes that read

I fear that I’m never going to find someone that is capable of loving me the way that I can love
That maybe how I feel is not considered love?
I fear that I’ll be left feeling like I gave too much and didn’t receive enough?
Like I’ll be left depleted because I don’t know how to love
I fear….
I fear that I’ll have to keep faking it
That the only way someone will accept me is if I put on a mask
That I’ll have to pretend like I’m okay when clearly I feel like I’m not
I fear….
I fear that I’ll never find the one because of what I allow
Because I let people get away with doing things to me that I know I don’t deserve
I fear…
I fear that I’ll keep disrespecting myself as a woman
And in return that will leave me feeling injured
I want someone that calls me in the morning to wish me a good day
I fear I’ll never find that
I want someone who asks me to stay when I try to run away
I fear I’ll never find that
Who calls me even when I don’t want to talk
I fear I’ll never find that
I want someone who knows my emotions
I fear I’ll never find that
Who doesn’t get mad and can decipher that I’m just not okay
I fear I’ll never find that
Who knows when I’m upset that I just need to be consoled
I fear I’ll never find that
Who knows when to take control
I fear I’ll never find that
What if I come to depend on another too much?
I fear that
I want that safe space but have trouble opening up
I fear that
Could you call me when I hate you?
It’s all fear just so you know…
Could you call me when I say no?
It’s all fear that casts this woe
When I say I’m depressed
I want you to call me
When I say I’m distressed
I want you to call me
Is that so hard to understand?
I want you to call me
I keep waiting for the phone to ring
But nothing
That makes me fear…
When you can’t read my mind
But I keep telling you the same thing
Time after time
I don’t get this rhyme
That comes and it goes
Just like all my fears
That appear and then ghost