I’m so grateful.

Looking back at all my old blog posts and seeing myself lose and find and lose and find and lose and find myself has been (is) so…. mesmerizing.

I love seeing the deepest and darkest points of my life on here.

All those little moments where I’m like:
– that’s not me
– it’s so different now
– I’ve grown.

All the havoc, the disorganization, the mental chaos, the waves I thought would never be appeased that have all been put to rest by the One that sits on the throne of Heaven and Earth.
That’s right… I’m referring to Jesus.

The only one guy that can take me out of my despair and reframe my entire outlook on this existence. He is The One. No doc. No boyfriend. No med. No fam. But Jesus.. only Him.

Him, the only one who the wind and seas obey – Jesus. MY Jesus.
As the birds chirp outside my window, all the while I see the rays of light coming through.. I feel that the word “gratitude” is not even enough to portray my utter sense of indebtment to this man. This man who found a little child struggling, saw me, and gave me a bright and new shiny perspective and yearning to live. I love Him. I love Him so much. My Savior, my father, my hope, my everything. I love Jesus so much and well.. how much more can I put it into words?
He is the source, the source of everything I could ever want and need .. and that’s all I could ever aspire for… to want Jesus, to need Jesus, to be in communion with my Jesus. My sweet and merciful Jesus. It’s true what they say.. There is none like you my sweet beautiful Jesus. You make the days new. You make my heart & soul heel to your presence. I am taken aback each and everyday by how you love me – this one. This little lamb that kept fleeing from you.

I say this with every fiber of my being & soul,

Thank you Jesus.